We met Lemmy at a Shonen Knife show in Hollywood. He became immediately enamored with my friend, Freda. She became immediately turned off by his bare chest and overly tight white trousers. We hung out with him and Don Bolles between sets. I urged her to take Lemmy’s number against her protestations. Come on, it's Motorhead!!!

He invited her over the next weekend and I insisted we stop by on our way to a party in Hollywood. C'mon, it's Motorhead! So, my friend, Jenny, Freda and I showed up at his apartment near the Rainbow. A flag hung from his ceiling down to a couch. This created an entryway and forced us to enter single file. As Freda greeted him and I was trapped in the entryway, I browsed through the books along the wall. "Mein Kampf". Oh, a war buff. "The Third Reich"...hmmm, there seems to be a theme developing here. A theme that I knew my Jewish friend Jenny was not going to like much at all.

As we passed by the flag and rounded the corner, the living room came into full view. A stunning view. A heart-stopping view. The entire room was stuffed with nazi memorablia. Not just a few medals and pins, it was like a war museum. Actual skulls wearing spike helmets sat lined up on the wide-screen television. There were daggers and swords hung at all angles from the ceiling. Not safely snuggled against the wall, but hanging from the ceiling like the sword of Damocles. Were a wire to break, a sword would swing right down in a serious arc. Although it may not cut your skull right in half, it would definitely leave a nasty mark. Freda somehow insisted on standing right under them and I was constantly nudging her out of harm's way. I looked back at that flag, and as I had feared, it sported a giant swastika.

Lemmy sat in a chair at the end of the coffee table and invited us to sit on the couch so he could show us a video of himself singing a duet with Ozzy Osbourne. I could feel Jenny trembling next to me. I turned to her and her eyes were like saucers. She mouthed, "Get me out of here."

Halfway through the duet, I said, "We have to get cigarettes."
"We have cigarettes."
"No, we don't like that brand. We'll be back in a minute."
Lemmy jumped up. "Wait a fucking minute!!! I invite you into my fucking HOME and you don't stay five minutes before you want to fucking LEAVE?!!!"
"We'll be right back."
Lemmy’s face turned red and puffy. "You're not fucking going anywhere!!! You are going to fucking sit right there until I tell you you can leave!!!"

I noticed a can of lighter fluid amongst the jumble on his coffee table. As he hollered, I slowly picked it up and flipped open the top. I slowly got a lighter out of my pocket. I flicked on the flame. I pointed the nozzle of the lighter fluid at him and held up the lighter. I said, "If you don't let us leave RIGHT NOW, I am going to fucking set you on fire."

He looked absolutely stunned. Complete deer in the headlights. He looked at each of us in turn, searching our faces for some flicker of sanity. Finally he slapped his knee and shouted at Jenny, "Oh, I get it! You're Jewish and you don't care for my decor!!!" Jenny replied, "That's right, you filthy nazi cracker". I decided that might be a good time for a restroom break. When I returned, they were all wearing Royal Air Force caps and laughing their heads off like old friends. We dropped Lemmy off at the Rainbow and made our way to the party.